I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
