ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
