im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
