She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
