I think scott just propositioned me for sex
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
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I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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