just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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