i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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