Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
