She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
