mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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