I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
