3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
