jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
