Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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