This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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