Who wears a wallet chain?!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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