can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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