I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize