I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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