Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
