im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
