508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
