THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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