nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so much tequila, so little girl.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
