Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's never too late to be topless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
