Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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