Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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