I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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