what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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