question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
