Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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