Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
