it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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