We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
