): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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