A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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