We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.