I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.