I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
