Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
