oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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