i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
