It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
