How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
