Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
