Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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