i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
