I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
