She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
