We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
