Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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