my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
