Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
