What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
