So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
do nipples grow back?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
