party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
