oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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