I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
