she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
bring money and cleavage
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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