East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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