Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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