update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
