he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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