Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
