Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
