I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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