Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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