I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
