I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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