She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
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Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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